Saturday, 9 June 2012

New Recruits

Welcome to our new recruits
Come in and rest by the fire
We’re so glad you could join us
Our numbers get higher and higher

Don’t be put off by the decor
Here red is the new black
We find it’s very in-keeping
With tradition and all that

Work days are pretty erratic
You’ll soon get used to that
The work is hot and back-breaking
But the rewards far outweigh that

The perks of the job are amazing
Extreme weight loss guaranteed
As good as an ‘on the job’ sauna
You won’t so much sweat as bleed

Free accommodation provided
All of it open plan of course
Cold draughts are non-existent
With brimstone as your floor

Now I know the noise is horrendous
But you’ll find it won’t take long
Until the intense screaming
Becomes your favourite song

You’ll see were always busy
Never an idle day here
It won’t be long until you feel
That you’ve been here for years

Early retirement is encouraged
So you can rest your weary soul
An eternal spa is provided
Just don’t expect to return

Come now let’s get started
You’ll soon learn all the ropes
In your new job as a devil’s aide
Where leaving is beyond all hope

No comments:

Post a Comment